Gandalf the Green!
by Lady of Rivendell78
Summary: Gandalf turns green overnight. What will he do! this is supposed to be humor, but you can tell me what you think of it.


Disclaimer: All characters and places mentioned in this story belong to J.R.R. Tolkien. I do not own any of them.  
  
Author's note: This is my friend's idea, not mine. Also, for all of you serious fans of LOTR who can't bear to see a story that does not go specifically by the facts of the book, this is NOT a story for you. Please do not submit any reviews telling me that this story does not abide by the timeline of middle earth or the facts in the books. I KNOW THAT! I am a huge fan of LOTR myself. If you are not one of those people, please enjoy this story. R/R please.  
  
Another note: This is my very first time writing humor, and I'm not very good at it, so don't blame me if you don't really think it is that funny. I'll will always take suggestions as to what I should do to make it a better story.  
  
**Gandalf the Green**  
  
It was a fine, breezy morning in middle earth, and everything around the outskirts of Rivendell was quiet, unless you count the waterfall, and the sound of birds, and... oh whatever, you get the point.  
  
Anyways, on this fine, breezy morning, Gandalf woke up feeling extremely happy for some very strange reason. He had just had an excellent dream where he faked his death again and everyone was really worried about him.  
  
"Yes," he thought. "That would be an excellent thing to do right now. Things have been awfully boring in Middle Earth. That would be an excellent thing to do right now. Middle Earth needed a bit of excitement. Everyone was too serious right now, with Sauron and everything. Who cares about Sauron anyways?" Gandalf thought. "I mean it's only the end of the world they're talking about!"  
  
Gandalf quickly got up off the ground where he had been sleeping. Picked up a frying pan to cook some breakfast first. (One couldn't fake his own death on an empty stomach, you know.)  
  
Looking in the back of the frying pan, he saw a green smudge. Inspecting the surface of the frying pan closely, he discovered that the bright green smudge was his own reflection!  
  
"Yikes," Gandalf cried in dismay. "Green, of all the colors in the world. Why had he turned bright green! Why did I wish for excitement?" He thought to himself. "This was not the type of excitement that I wanted!"  
  
Looking around, he looked for anything that could make him white again. "Green is definitely NOT my color. I look like an overgrown weed in this thing!" He thought frantically. Spotting a can of white paint on the ground, he decided that that would have to do, until he could find new white clothes. (The paint had been there, because the previous day, he had tried to paint a tree white to impersonate the white tree of Gondor.)  
  
He quickly painted himself with the gooey paste. Inspecting the back of the frying pan again, he decided that he was white enough. Now it was time to visit Elrond! They needed to discuss some important business.  
  
Setting off for Rivendell at a quick stride, Gandalf didn't notice that as he walked through the tall grass, the white paint was slowly wearing away. The paint smelled so bad to the animals in Rivendell, that even the skunks ran away in fright! Gandalf didn't notice though. He was too busy concentrating on his own thoughts.  
  
Exactly 22 minutes, and 34 seconds later, (now 38 crosses that out 41, crosses that out 45 seconds, starts to cross that out but decides that it is pointless ) Gandalf arrived in Rivendell. The horrible smell of the paint had died down, but the paint wasn't completely dry yet.  
  
Elrond stepped out of his house/ castle thingy. He saw Gandalf approaching and ran to greet him. Unfortunately Elrond forgot that he had a robe on. Tripping over the edge of his own robe, he rolled head over heals down the hill toward Gandalf. For someone that's over 6,000 years old, that's not a good thing.  
  
"Well Gandalf," exclaimed Elrond as he got up, panting. "I'm glad to see you, my friend. Er... don't mind that tumble that I took to get here. That was umm... intentional! Yeah, I er... was so glad to see you that I decided to roll down the hill! It was fun. You should try it one day."  
  
"Elrond, my friend, you are the worst liar I have ever seen." Gandalf replied with a chuckle. "Next time you decide to roll down a hill, roll into a tree and knock some lying sense into your head."  
  
Elrond, feeling uncomfortable, decided to change the subject. "So Gandalf, how are you today? You look awfully pale, and do I see a tinge of green on your robe?"  
  
Now it was Gandalf's turn to feel uncomfortable. "Green? Umm... What are you talking about? I don't see any green." Gandalf nervously fingered his robe, rubbing white paint all over his fingers, and exposing a bright green spot on his robe.  
  
Elrond noticed this, and wondered what had happened to Gandalf. He seemed uncomfortable in his presence. At that moment, he noticed something. Gandalf's robe didn't seem to be as pure white as it was before. It really was green! Elrond felt like a kid again, trying to solve a mystery. All he needed now was a magnifying glass.  
  
Gandalf was feeling more out of place each second. Elrond was staring at him funny. Looking down, he started. "Yikes!" Gandalf exclaimed. His robe has slowly turned bright green again. He looked back at Elrond, extremely embarrassed. How was he going to explain what happened?  
  
"Just tell the truth," he told himself. "I woke up this morning, and I was green. There was nothing that happened. I don't even know any details myself." Suddenly, out of the bushes came a muffled giggling. Springing up, Gandalf pulled out his staff, and stabbed the bush.  
  
Out of it tumbled Merry and Pippin. They were laughing like crazy, especially Pippin. He sounded his a sick hyena. "Did you steal my white robe?" he asked them.  
  
Merry was first to regain his calm, but Pippin kept on laughing and laughing. Gandalf decided to ignore him. That was extremely hard to do surprisingly. Merry nodded and then burst into a laughing fit again.  
  
Gandalf sighed. It had been extremely foolish to think that a fool of a took, and his best companion could be trusted. Now he would have to travel all the way to Lothlorien to fetch more white robes. Gandalf regained his calm face. "I'm traveling to Lothlorien, and you two," he pointed to Merry and Pippin. "Are coming with me."

Grabbing both of their ears, Gandalf the Green, formerly Gandalf the White started walking away from Rivendell, despite the fact that Lord Elrond was still standing there watching them, clueless as to what to do.

**I think that was the most horrible story I ever wrote. Oh, well. Please read and review. If you give me a signed review, I'll be happy to review your story(s). I'm open to suggestions as to what I can do to make this a better story.**


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